I am happy to welcome the first contributor to Everything But the Music, my father, Ernest Gembler. Many of you know him by Bubba. He also likes to write. Go figure… I wonder where I picked that up at? Today, February 19th, is his birthday. So I figured what a great way celebrate him, by posting this short essay he wrote in the wake of his father’s passing. My grandfather, Ernest Gembler Sr., passed away last month. And while it was somewhat sudden, I know I felt peaceful about it only because of the way my father responded. On more than one occasion my father has explained death to me. Death is part of life and being sad is ok, but moving on and taking that persons memories with you are all we can do now.
Some of you who know my dad probably know how similar we are. I think I got all the best parts, creativity, love for cooking, love of writing, deep love for family and grit. There are many more attributes I can thank him for, but those are some good ones to celebrate today. Happy Birthday Dad! Love you.
ARE MEMORIES ENOUGH?
Memories are something we collect over years of spending time with people. Maybe to some they are not thought of or brought to mind until that certain person has passed. If we think about it memories are collected and stored away every day. It’s up to us to unlock them. But what good are memories if we choose not to call on them from time to time. Or share them with others. You will find that those memories good or bad have a way of healing the soul, not only for the one telling but the ones listing. I believe for most they find memories to be painful so they choose not to call on them. When someone passes we generally hear the same thing, sorry for your loss but you will always have the memories. Well that’s true only if you choose to recall them. As for myself I choose to recall on memories all the time. Not just the good ones, the bad ones to.
I lost my Dad a little over a month ago. It was a sad time for me but if it weren’t for all the memories of the times we shared together it would have been a painful time. When someone passes memories are the only thing we truly have left. But I want to turn this around a bit. I want you to think about this, I want you to put yourself in the persons place the one who is lying in bed with not much time left. I believe they are not feeling sorry for themselves, but praying, “Dear God, I hope they remember me for all I’ve done. I hope I will be remembered for time spent with others. I hope I’m the one they bring into conversation while visiting one another. Dear God, please let them remember me.” I spent a little time with my Dad before he passed. I enjoyed our last conversation. He said, “Son we’ve done about all we can do. We’ve spent so much time together and I want to thank you for all you’ve done. I want you to know how proud I am of the man you’ve become.” I told him, “Dad I would be nothing if it weren’t for you. Dad I know you must go but I will never forget you.”
So are memories enough? I believe they are. Simply because they are all we are left with. It’s up to us to call on them. So please remember, share those memories don’t keep them locked away. But most importantly share them with the ones who made them possible. It just might help them in their time of passing.
Ernest “Bubba” Gembler