It seems bizarre to say that this weekend marks the longest amount of consecutive time I have spent with my child since he was 2 months old. But it’s true. Because I was forced to take early maternity leave I only had 7 short weeks with him before headed back to work full-time. From that moment on, we only took long weekends and one, week-long “vacation”. Wyatt spent his days with Rodney while I was at work and when I arrived home, I would hear about all the things he did while I was away. Mostly I was grateful that we were/are lucky enough to be in this situation where Rodney can be with him all day. And that this was creating a bond that would be unbreakable for the rest of their lives. But I really felt… guilt… and jealousy. Isn’t that just awful? But I know many of you other moms and probably even dads out there, know exactly what I mean. You think, does my kid like my spouse more than me? Does my kid notice I am not here? Does my kid know that I would much rather be at home with him/her? Terrible mind games. And you are the only player. Guilt, table for one please.
Fact is, it’s silly. Because even if I was still at work full-time, I know Wyatt would love me just as much. He throughly enjoys his time with me. I can tell. We don’t play the same way he does with his dad. Probably because I am not as good at playing as he is…but we do have our games. Bath time was always our time and getting ready for bed was special.
So, it hasn’t been that long since my last day as a full-time employed mom, but I have already noticed the major changes in our routine and lifestyle. It really is interesting. At first I felt like I was a foreigner present in another world this week. This life right now is much slower than my job life. So first it has been weird with the “lack” of things to do. I had lists of things to take care of for the tour, but once I did that, my day was wide open. I played with Wyatt. We read books. We played some more. We read more books. We had a major discussion about how most balls have air in them, and that helps them bounce. We worked on counting, letters, colors. The last two days we (by we, I mean Rodney and I) have begun to “redirect” if you will, Wyatt’s diet. You know how busy it can get and sometimes you just do what’s easy. For 2 days in, we are ok.
BUT just when you think something is working with your toddler, it doesn’t. We adopted a green tree frog and we let Wyatt eat dinner with him. He sat next to the terrarium and showed the frog how a human boy eats his food. I seriously was so smug. I thought I figured this out! The tree frog is the ticket to him eating! Then today I found his lunch hidden in the fake potted plant next to the table where the tree frog was. He at least ate half of it.
What else… maybe not so heavy. Wyatt is trying to find parallels in the world I guess because every animal mom and baby we see he compares them to us. This was super adorable until he just started saying I looked like a llama, who didn’t have a baby with her, a pig, a cow and probably a few other unflattering animals I chose to forget. It’s probably a compliment coming from him. He loves animals with all his little being. But still, “Mommy that looks like you!” while he’s pointing at a llama is not super awesome. Even though he does that, he’s still pretty sweet. He did tell me I was beautiful the other day as he held my face. He gives the best hugs I have ever had and some intense kisses.
This is such an facinating journey to be on. I am so grateful for our opportunity to lead our lives down this new path. Everyday is a new gift. Sometimes it’s a gift like socks – not what you thought it would be, but you know you needed them and you like socks anyway. Sometimes it’s like a new car, or a beach vacation trip, or winning the lottery – unexpected, exciting, and breathes life into the socks you need to wear everyday.